At the start of this year, I had come up with ten commandments for myself. Not the kind of things that I just don’t want to do – like ‘exercise everyday’ or ‘travel more’ ; or things that I know I couldn’t anyway keep up with – like ‘lose 10kgs’ or ‘not eat junk delivery food while binge watching Netflix till 3am’. I mean, I want to start my year right, not constrained.
No, these commandments were things that I genuinely wanted to make a part of my everyday life. And while I did make my resolution checklist like any other person, I wanted to do a resolution check. Not because I want to judge or criticize myself. But because…I want to grow.
Resolution #1 | Never give up yourself
That’s what they said but they didn’t tell how hard some of the days would be. Days when you just want to hit snooze and sleep through the reality of your problems. Days when the weather is gloomy because grey clouds of doubt overcast your blue skies. Days when you think you are hardly deserving of the dessert.
Even then, all through, I know that I persisted. I consciously tried to succumb less to dramas of self-pity and replaced it with serious plans. Whenever I found myself falling into the trap of why me? I tried to change the narrative to who else? Because who else should I ask more to stand up for me than my own damn self.
Resolution #2 | Embrace all your shades, light and dark
I think as people we often worry about ensuring everything is perfect. Or at least I do. My worries have worries. I need to plan and execute everything to a T. I felt that hit harder this year. But I also found myself understanding more and more that it comes at a cost – either physical or mental or emotional.
So, I tried to let myself be. To assure myself that it was okay if I didn’t reply to that message right away or write on my blog for weeks at a stretch or wanted to eat a big bowl of pasta, just because. I let myself – sometimes – run mad.
Resolution #3 | Never eat just a single fry
The whole idea was to push myself to start enjoying things a little more, allow myself to have fun and to not think of ifs and buts, but to just be. While the prudent perfectionist in me still pulled me away from spontaneous splurges, I learnt to revel in some of the little joys – treating myself to self-bought gifts, or a weekend sleep without an alarm, or even taking some time off to do what I wanted to.
This was the year when I also consciously started working on myself – what I need to do to be fit physically, and mentally. As for the literal food side of it, I earned the #Zomato badge of being in the top 10% foodies in the country. Well, I call that a victory, whatever the weighing scale may say.
Resolution #4 | Always remember – kindness is strength, not weakness
Through my life, I have encountered people who think kindness = cowardice. You don’t have power if you are polite. While I didn’t really steer away from my principle amidst such company, I suppressed it a lot. Or perhaps just shied away from that confrontation.
But this past year, I thought to do things the kind way anyway. Even if it wasn’t the norm. You don’t have to be a painful client, you can be a partner. You don’t have to be a condescending peer, you could be a compassionate colleague. You don’t have to use fear when you could use trust.
Be kind to everyone in the room, irrespective of whether they were invited or not. And if you are in the wrong room, then be kind to yourself and simply walk away.
Resolution #5 | Insulate against Instagram feed
Okay, technically, this was just ironic to do when you literally work on digital comms. But you know what I mean. The question is whether you can use social media for what it is and not get sucked into the spiral.
This was really difficult especially considering the whole world seemed to be getting married on my Facebook or Instagram feed. Or people getting promoted. Or people on holidays, who weirdly seemed to have month long weekends because that’s how long their posts on mountain top and sandy beaches ran. But I also saw people searching for jobs after getting dump fired. People desperately looking for answers against the pandemic. People that made you think of the privilege you are privy to.
And what I came to was that the answer is – Balance. The feed is neither your target destination nor your condescending cocoon. Like, comment and share in the real life.
Resolution #6 | Read more – books, people, situations
One of my major goals this year was to read and read and re-read. I used to be a reading enthusiast (of course not a veteran), but I somehow slipped out of that habit. And when I took upon writing, I understood how important reading is for that. Writing and reading go hand in hand, one fuelling the other and bringing out the best in each other.
But what I love about book, more than anything, is how they make you travel, how they make you feel and how they make you see perspectives that you may not have even considered. Books have that effect of making us whole and wholesome.
Resolution #7 | Make Mondays better
Did I make my Mondays better? Well, you will have to ask my Sunday evenings!
The idea is that you don’t want to be stuck somewhere where you dread getting up on a workday to face what you don’t like. For me, as the year progressed, instead of staying in that vicious circle of dread-work-relief-dread again, I tried to change what I could control and make it better. I picked up more things I loved to do. I made myself dinner as a treat when I was down. I tried look at other work responsibilities that I knew I would enjoy better.
So yes, I would still very much love to cuddle up in my bed on Mondays, eating previous-night pizza for breakfast while watching Netflix, but until I am that kind of a millionaire, I will wake up to do what I can to make Mondays a little more bearable.
Resolution #8 | Unmute yourself
I have always found it hard to ask for what I want. It is not to say that I always go with the flow, I just usually get things done by myself instead of voicing it out. So, it was hard for me to do this. But I learnt that communications aren’t done telepathically and for opportunities to work, you have to ignite them with words, than just thoughts.
So, I started with baby steps – of speaking out even when I thought it wasn’t necessary, of putting my thoughts out these even though I didn’t want to and trying to stop myself from stopping myself. I gave myself permission to speak.
Resolution #9 | Be grateful, for every single person in your life
In a year ridden with uncertainties, it is hard to be grateful when you don’t even know what you will get to be grateful for. But I think it’s even more necessary now more than ever.
Being grateful doesn’t mean you are settling for less. It is to appreciate what you have been given, what you have earned and what you have learned. It is to be thankful of what we have, to not be presumptively privileged.
It is to constantly remind ourselves that we will strive for what we want but be grateful for what we get.
Resolution #10 | Live Your Passion
Three Little Words. I began a journey this year to understand what passion is. How do people find it? Or does it find them? What do you need to do to find it? And how does it change you? While the stories that I have gathered are immeasurably valuable to me, I have also learnt something bigger along the way.
It is as easy as it is hard to live your passion. Passion washes over you like waves but sometimes also makes you feel like you are lost at sea. It is like a breeze that uplifts you but also a storm that engulfs you. You sometimes feel like you have it all and yet sometimes you know you don’t know.
So, all you can do is to wake up today and live it with little more passion than yesterday. And while today, I do not have this resolution checked just yet. But maybe someday, I will. I will.
