One of the mistaken manners that we carry is to always focus on the negatives over the positives. We obsess over what is wrong with us, what we do, what we have rather than look at what’s. It’s always…
What is not working vs what have I conquered?
How many marks did I lose vs how much learning did I gain?
Why did this go wrong vs why should I be grateful for what went right?
Recently, I observed that we take this so far, we start to define ourselves by the critiques of our lives. ‘What’s your weakness’ is such a prevalent question in interviews that it is fervently studied to fake just right. And for someone seemingly toeing on the imposter syndrome, this feels like an everyday internal introduction to self. “Hi. I am Varshika. Here is 1 thing that I did right but 1000 other things that I did wrong. So let me focus on those and overanalyze why I shouldn’t even be allowed to exist.”
Of course, you should learn from your failures and pay attention to what you can improve. I have made my fair share (okay fine, maybe mine and ten other shares too!) of mistakes and I am pretty sure that there will be many in the future as well. But we are letting the downfalls in our lives define us when actually, there is a lot that we could be proud of.
I think a person is truly defined by the best compliment they have received than the worst criticism they hold onto to. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we defined ourselves by those positives, to have interviews where you are asked ‘What’s the best compliment you have ever received?’. Wouldn’t it build a space of generously giving and humbly receiving positivity?
I thought back to some of the best compliments I have ever received which completely made my day and made me profoundly humble. Took me lot of courage to admit to these but they are so good that they are a credit to the people who gave the compliments rather than me. So, here goes –
- You are someone whom your family can rely on.
- You instantly make the mood lighter in the meeting with your sense of humor.
- You are one of the kindest people I have met.
What are some of the best compliments you have received that define you as a person?
